Imposter syndrome
Do you have a fear of public speaking?
I have always struggled with it. In high school I opted to fail every assignment that involved standing up in front of the class so that I didn't have to do it. When I got to year 12, the teacher told me that I would fail my final exams if I didn't do the oral part of the assignment. Luckily we were allowed to speak about any topic we liked . . . so I spoke about how much I hated public speaking. I found I could speak more easily about something I was 'passionate' and knowledgeable about!
I found that to be true later in life as well. At 26 I started working as a trainer for computer software and I loved doing the one on one, or small group training sessions, but standing up in front of a large group of people and talking on a topic that I didn't know very well brought back all those fears.
Once I became an 'expert' on the software, the public speaking became much easier. I wasn't so worried about getting asked a question I didn't know the answer to.
I now understand that what I was feeling was 'imposter syndrome'. I didn't feel that people should be listening to what I had to say unless I was an 'expert'. So then my perfectionism kicked in and I worked my arse off to become an expert. I worked with that same software 14 years - I was well and truly an expert by the end of it.
When I quit that job to complete my degree that imposter syndrome came back thick and fast. I was suddenly a beginner again and way out of my comfort zone. I suffered from terrible anxiety attacks, fear of failure and destructive over achieving. I struggled to speak in front of the class, my lecturers and clients because I thought I had nothing to offer. Luckily I had the support of some amazing people who helped me realise that even though I was still learning, I have plenty to offer. You don’t have to be an expert to add value, we all have different experiences and perspectives to share.
Knowing that helps with the fear of public speaking but I still get anxious - every time. I’ve tried breathing techniques, herbs and heavy metal music - and they all help a bit but the only tactic that has ever really worked . . . just doing it, being terrified but doing it anyway. Do it shaking, do it wrong, it doesn't matter - just do it and keep doing it.
Do you have any techniques that help you? Share them in the comments below.